i can do...anything.

I spent some time in Philippians this morning, pausing to smile over the familiar passage in Philippians 4:13.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I wish I could remember how old I was when I first memorized that verse. In my family, it was one of those “bedrock” verses that you learned early, right up there beside John 3:16 and Romans 8:28. God often shakes me out of self-satisfied, complacent Christianity by choosing to speak to me through something I’ve read a thousand times. I’ll spend hours scouring through some obscure passage in Nahum searching for a revelation only to hear His voice come crashing through my circumstances and into my heart through John 8:32 (another one I memorized as a child, though this one was largely due to the fact that my dad preached several sermons on it).

What captivated me this morning was the context of Philippians 4:13. Paul is talking about the kindness of the Philippians, and how often they blessed him with gifts when he was in need. He then rushes to assure them that his praise for their generosity is not a hint that he needed anything, saying that he had learned to be content regardless of his situation.

God is pressing me toward gratitude on a daily basis. I get it more on some days than others. Paul’s statement—that he learned to be grateful in all things—blessed me so much because it is after saying this that he writes Philippians 4:13. His contentedness was not an easy thing. He had to learn it. He had to persevere to gratitude. And it was only through the strength of Christ that he had the grace to be content.

I often feel dissatisfied and unhappy with my life. Invariably, after I express my dissatisfaction, I begin to feel condemned for being ungrateful. While I never want to minimize the convicting power of the Holy Spirit, or excuse poor behavior that stems from an ungrateful heart, the Lord reminded me this morning that it’s only by His power that I am able to see the good in all things. Wallowing in how much I “missed it” the day before will only hinder me from progressing today. My only option is to press delete on the past and keep going.

I choose to be grateful. On some days I will be more successful than on others. Some days will be easier than others. What matters is if I keep going, beating my ungrateful nature into submission and fixing my eyes on the ultimate goal.

If we keep going, we win.

just standing

I'm not sure I'm going to be able to say all this the way I want to say it. Sometimes I wish words didn't seem to shrink so much when we try to express what we feel.

I feel it most when I shut my eyes. It's a mix of contentment and tiredness--similar to what I feel at the end of a two hour worship service when I know I've pushed as deep into God as my weak flesh will allow for that time. Also mixed in is a tinge of accomplishment, like I feel when I've finished folding three loads of laundry, cooked dinner, and cleaned my home. And there's a small sense of emptiness, too, like the slow ebbing of adrenaline when a roller coaster slowly rolls back to the platform and part of your body is asking you, "Now what?"

It's a lost sort of found feeling, a latent excitement, a lethargic energy, a directed purpose.

It's my favorite place to be.

This is the feeling I have when I hear most clearly from God. It comes when I've finally pushed through all the external "stuff" and connect with His heart--raw, imperfect....real. He reminds me that I don't have to "do" anything when I come to Him; I can simply rest in His presence, in the throne room of the Almighty, seated with His Son, tucked under His care.

I fail a lot in that I often mentally diminish the power of God working in my life. He often allows painful situations to lag on for what seems like eternity in our lives because He's teaching us perseverance and growing character in our lives. We cannot get so caught up in the process that we forget the purpose. We cannot allow His patience to distort our perception of His strength, His power, His ability to move on behalf of those of us who love Him desperately.

I love this emotional place. I love it when He reminds me that He's still God, He's still in control, and He still has a plan. I walk through my day feeling clean and mended. This is casting our cares. This is the result of observing Sabbath with Him.

Stand before His throne and be confident in who you are to Him. He's God, and He does all things well.

Psalm Studies -- Week 4 and 5

Week 4 -- Worship and Prophecy -- Psalm 27 (Part 2)

siren's song

I'm singing The Prayer in a wedding soon, and even though the version I'm singing isn't exactly like the one that Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli have made so popular, I've been listening to their version regularly as a learning aid. Yesterday, in the course of clicking through various links on youtube trying to find a clearer recording of the song, I found myself suddenly listening to another of Celine's songs.

Let me say from the beginning that I have great musical respect for Celine Dion. She has an incredible vocal range and has had more worldwide recognition that most of us could ever dream of having. She also has a history of carrying herself with class, unlike many of her contemporaries.

This particular song was catchy. It featured a sitar riff that immediately appealed to me (perhaps because of my background of growing up in India) and the melody was catchy. I found my foot tapping and my head imperceptibly nodding.

Then I locked into to the words.

There was nothing truly "bad" in the song--no overt vulgarity or profanity. In fact, we could almost call the message of being faithful to one's significant other wholesome in the face of a society where broken relationships have become "normal." But I felt somewhat "checked" at references to a "devil inside" and being told to "keep your eyes only on me." I'm supposed to keep my eyes at all times on someone, but He's not you. No big deal...it's just a song... I reached to shut it off.

The instant the music stopped, I felt like I had the air knocked out of me and everything inside of me seemed to shrink. I had a raging desire just to hear the end of the song. I switched over to a Christian music station, and immediately felt bored. Yesterday was one of those days where I felt bored with my walk with Jesus in general. The Word seemed stale and my prayers felt like lead.

The strength of my inner struggle over the Celine Dion song shocked me. I make it a practice not to listen to secular music, not out of legalistic, "religious" reasons, but just because I find myself feeling dissatisfied with my life when I do. I am desperate to have open communication with God at all times--to be able to hear from Him no matter where I am or what I'm doing. When I listen to secular music (or even a lot of "positive Christian top-20 hits"), I find that the communication pipeline gets clogged.

However, I sometimes listen through a secular song on youtube that I've heard on a movie or when I'm walking through a store because I like the musical arrangement of it. I've never really thought much about it, justifying myself by thinking, I don't listen to it all the time. The struggle I had to pull out of it yesterday makes me believe that I may need to up my standards even higher, at least for this season of my life.

I realize this is a sensitive, highly personal subject, and that everybody has their own list of what they will and will not allow themselves to hear (much like the list of profanity deemed "acceptable" in movies....personally, I never understood how one curse word could be more offensive than another). I would challenge you, though, to examine your standards on a regular basis. The spirit behind a song will manifest itself whenever and wherever that song is played, and small compromises lead to huge concessions. We are to guard our hearts with extreme diligence, giving no chance for vulnerability, because our enemy does not rest seeking after our hearts.

May God strengthen you all with power in your inner man!

Psalm Studies -- Week 3

Week 3 -- Worship and Prophecy -- Psalm 27