In the past three weeks, I have made fudge, snickerdoodles, chocolate chip cookies, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, inside-out Oreos, and a double-batch of divinity. I have stayed up until 2:00 in the morning cleaning my house, washing table linens, and scouring my Christmas china. I have established a mid-sized tree in the corner of my living room, and shoved around other furniture to accommodate said tree. I have scoured shelves to find the perfect Christmas gift, and wrapped/re-wrapped my purchases. I have attended at least three Christmas parties, and played multiple games of "dirty-Santa."
Only today do I have a glimmer of the "Christmas spirit." I finally quieted myself to read this:
For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of His government and peace
There will be no end,
Upon the throne of David and over His kingdom,
To order it and establish it with judgment and justice
From that time forward, even forever.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this. (Is. 9:6-7)
Set aside the sometimes-loneliness, the busyness, and the stress of celebrating Christmas. What is left still brightly gleaming after thousands of years is that a light shined in the darkness, and the darkness did not understand. Isaiah foretold the coming of the Prince of Peace in the middle of a prophecy about terrible battle. Christmas is about a revolution heralding a Kingdom that will never end. It's about a King walking with blood-stained robes, breaking the yoke of oppression off of His people, loosing captives and bringing justice. Christmas is about a Kingdom.
God's heart has always been about His Kingdom established on earth--Emmanuel...God WITH us. The child in the manger was not His first time to walk on earth with men; instead, it was His progression toward restoring that Kingdom. When wrapping yet another Christmas tie, mug, or picture frame, we should keep in mind that the gifts He ever seeks to cultivate in us are prophecy, healing, tongues, miracles, the discerning of spirits, words of wisdom and words of knowledge. Perhaps, instead of looking for that perfect Christmas present we should concentrate our efforts on giving the gift of sight to the blind, joy to the depressed, hope to the despondant. Perhaps, instead of wishing each other "Merry Christmas" we should greet each other saying, "He shall reign!"
May this weekend remind you of a coming Kingdom, whose humble King daily bears your burdens.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Another Love Story -- Part 3
"God gave you this desire for relationship, and He cares about the feelings of loneliness that you've always faced. He is going to bring an Isaac to you." ~"Stephanie" Florida, June, 2000
I first saw JD at the church I was attending late in 2008. From my vantage point on the platform I only knew him as the guy on the back row who always came late, always left early, and never smiled. There was something about him I found instantly attractive, so I responded in my usual way--I avoided all contact with him whatsoever.
Let me digress here for a moment. God has planted in women an innate longing to be pursued, largely because He is the ultimate pursuer and loves to overwhelm our hearts. The natural bend pushed to the extreme after the fall when God told Eve that from that moment on, her desire would be for her husband and he would rule over her. What God had created to be a beautiful gift to a woman became a driving force to feel incomplete without a man.
In an oracle concerning the Day of the Lord, Isaiah 4:1 says: “And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, “We will eat our own food and wear our own apparel; only let us be called by your name, to take away our reproach.” The prophet Isaiah was foreseeing a time when the amount of violence in Jerusalem will make the ratio of marriageable women to men seven to one, and it will drive women to desperation if they have not allowed the power of the Holy Spirit to set them free from the curse of Genesis 3:16.
Relationships have always fascinated me, but I have also always had solid convictions on gender roles in the process. Genesis 2:24 puts the burden of pursuit on the man. God’s way is for a man to cleave to his wife. The Hebrew word for cleave is dabaq (Strongs H1692), which translates “stick with, follow closely, join to, overtake, catch.” [my emphasis added] Wife here is the word ishshah (Strongs H802) which the King James’ also translates as “woman” 324 times in the Old Testament. The point is that God’s version of relationships is for the man to pursue the woman, whether she is his wife or the one he is dating.
Granted, just because God calls the man to pursue does not give the woman the right to manipulate or take advantage of his pursuit. Relationships are not games, and women who play with men’s hearts are absolutely in the wrong. Song of Solomon shows that when the relationship is established, part of the beauty in the relationship is the woman with an overtaken heart running as hard toward her beloved as he is pursuing her. The same is true of our relationship with God--we chase the One who is pursuing us. However, in most cases the “liberation of woman” has merely resulted in passive-aggressive, emasculated men too afraid of rejection to pursue and in broken women masking a longing to be pursued.
Most of the reason that I always avoided men I found “interesting” (which was my word of choice when talking things over with the Lord later) was because I was intimidated—which is to say, I was more selfishly focused on wondering what they would think about me than I was interested in showing the love of Christ as a sister and a friend. However, part of my avoidance was simply to see if any would bother to chase me.
In the case of JD, it was not really that hard to do. He was almost always in and out before I left the platform, and all other times he seemed to be as intent on avoiding me as I was on avoiding him. Conversations years later, during the giddy rush of discovering, "I noticed you when..." would show that both he and I had been nursing broken hearts when he began coming to the church.
Furthermore, despite finding him “interesting,” I firmly believed the Lord had other plans for me, and I was not interested in giving JD the wrong ideas. At least, this is what I told myself. The Lord was processing me into deliverance from rejection, intimidation (which I always called “shyness”), and fearing man more than I honored Him. JD and I continued in this pattern of seeing each other but not speaking for almost a year. In fact, he had been in the fringes of my life for over six months before I even knew his name.
<--back to part 2 on to part 4-->
<--back to the beginning
I first saw JD at the church I was attending late in 2008. From my vantage point on the platform I only knew him as the guy on the back row who always came late, always left early, and never smiled. There was something about him I found instantly attractive, so I responded in my usual way--I avoided all contact with him whatsoever.
Let me digress here for a moment. God has planted in women an innate longing to be pursued, largely because He is the ultimate pursuer and loves to overwhelm our hearts. The natural bend pushed to the extreme after the fall when God told Eve that from that moment on, her desire would be for her husband and he would rule over her. What God had created to be a beautiful gift to a woman became a driving force to feel incomplete without a man.
In an oracle concerning the Day of the Lord, Isaiah 4:1 says: “And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, “We will eat our own food and wear our own apparel; only let us be called by your name, to take away our reproach.” The prophet Isaiah was foreseeing a time when the amount of violence in Jerusalem will make the ratio of marriageable women to men seven to one, and it will drive women to desperation if they have not allowed the power of the Holy Spirit to set them free from the curse of Genesis 3:16.
Relationships have always fascinated me, but I have also always had solid convictions on gender roles in the process. Genesis 2:24 puts the burden of pursuit on the man. God’s way is for a man to cleave to his wife. The Hebrew word for cleave is dabaq (Strongs H1692), which translates “stick with, follow closely, join to, overtake, catch.” [my emphasis added] Wife here is the word ishshah (Strongs H802) which the King James’ also translates as “woman” 324 times in the Old Testament. The point is that God’s version of relationships is for the man to pursue the woman, whether she is his wife or the one he is dating.
Granted, just because God calls the man to pursue does not give the woman the right to manipulate or take advantage of his pursuit. Relationships are not games, and women who play with men’s hearts are absolutely in the wrong. Song of Solomon shows that when the relationship is established, part of the beauty in the relationship is the woman with an overtaken heart running as hard toward her beloved as he is pursuing her. The same is true of our relationship with God--we chase the One who is pursuing us. However, in most cases the “liberation of woman” has merely resulted in passive-aggressive, emasculated men too afraid of rejection to pursue and in broken women masking a longing to be pursued.
Most of the reason that I always avoided men I found “interesting” (which was my word of choice when talking things over with the Lord later) was because I was intimidated—which is to say, I was more selfishly focused on wondering what they would think about me than I was interested in showing the love of Christ as a sister and a friend. However, part of my avoidance was simply to see if any would bother to chase me.
In the case of JD, it was not really that hard to do. He was almost always in and out before I left the platform, and all other times he seemed to be as intent on avoiding me as I was on avoiding him. Conversations years later, during the giddy rush of discovering, "I noticed you when..." would show that both he and I had been nursing broken hearts when he began coming to the church.
Furthermore, despite finding him “interesting,” I firmly believed the Lord had other plans for me, and I was not interested in giving JD the wrong ideas. At least, this is what I told myself. The Lord was processing me into deliverance from rejection, intimidation (which I always called “shyness”), and fearing man more than I honored Him. JD and I continued in this pattern of seeing each other but not speaking for almost a year. In fact, he had been in the fringes of my life for over six months before I even knew his name.
<--back to part 2 on to part 4-->
<--back to the beginning
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
When He Says "Forever"
In the United States, statistics typically agree that one in two married couples will get a divorce. The percentage gets higher when we focus on those who have married for a second or third time. We embrace quick-fix, microwave solutions to problems that deserve greater attention–sexual intimacy on the second or third date, one-night-stands, broken promises. We are a culture indulging in reality television shows that promote men and women “hooking up” without acknowledging that sex creates a soul-tie; forever the two will be one in God’s eyes unless they repent and allow the delivering power of the Holy Spirit to create new life. The memories will always be there.
This is especially true in the church, where we swing on a pendulum between cheap grace and legalism. We either leap head-first into exciting our senses with the mindset of, “well, to the pure all things are pure” or we give each other a list of requirements tacked on to salvation that burden us more than what Jesus intended when He established a new covenant.
My point is not to make anyone feel bad; all of us have fallen short of the mark many times; I am simply trying to lay the foundation that most if not all of us have no real concept of “forever.” Instead, many of us exchange God’s version forever for Disney’s promise of a “happily-ever-after,” and wonder why life does not meet our expectations.
Without understanding that God’s “forever” is without reservation, without a pre-nup or safety escape clause, we cannot understand His heart in Psalm 4:3:
The phrase “set apart” here means “distinct, marked out, be separated, be distinguished” (Strongs H6395). God forever marks those who belong to Him. He knows them. They look different, not because of what they do in their own strength, but because He makes them look different.
Many of us have forgotten what it feels like to have someone jealously guard us (or, in turn, to guard jealously). While we do not want to hold others in a suffocating grip, sometimes our “open hand” is so open that we let our loved ones fall through the cracks.
This is not God’s way. He reserves us as a private garden belonging exclusively to Him. We are set apart, peculiar, reserved, guarded, distinguished, separated…His. Forever. We are pledged in marriage to a Lamb who will never back out on His covenant. He will always pursue, always guard, always love. He is never going to get tired of the chase, never going to give up, never going to get bored with us, never going to bewail the loss of “the mystery” that society screams women must keep alive to keep men interested. He’s never going to cheat on the relationship, and each new day will always be a new adventure.
This is His “forever.” When He said it, He meant it. He knows those who belong to Him, and He has been waiting patiently for His bride for thousands of years.
Have you said “yes” to Him?
This is especially true in the church, where we swing on a pendulum between cheap grace and legalism. We either leap head-first into exciting our senses with the mindset of, “well, to the pure all things are pure” or we give each other a list of requirements tacked on to salvation that burden us more than what Jesus intended when He established a new covenant.
My point is not to make anyone feel bad; all of us have fallen short of the mark many times; I am simply trying to lay the foundation that most if not all of us have no real concept of “forever.” Instead, many of us exchange God’s version forever for Disney’s promise of a “happily-ever-after,” and wonder why life does not meet our expectations.
Without understanding that God’s “forever” is without reservation, without a pre-nup or safety escape clause, we cannot understand His heart in Psalm 4:3:
But know that the LORD has set apart for Himself him who is godly; the LORD will hear when I call to Him.
The phrase “set apart” here means “distinct, marked out, be separated, be distinguished” (Strongs H6395). God forever marks those who belong to Him. He knows them. They look different, not because of what they do in their own strength, but because He makes them look different.
Many of us have forgotten what it feels like to have someone jealously guard us (or, in turn, to guard jealously). While we do not want to hold others in a suffocating grip, sometimes our “open hand” is so open that we let our loved ones fall through the cracks.
This is not God’s way. He reserves us as a private garden belonging exclusively to Him. We are set apart, peculiar, reserved, guarded, distinguished, separated…His. Forever. We are pledged in marriage to a Lamb who will never back out on His covenant. He will always pursue, always guard, always love. He is never going to get tired of the chase, never going to give up, never going to get bored with us, never going to bewail the loss of “the mystery” that society screams women must keep alive to keep men interested. He’s never going to cheat on the relationship, and each new day will always be a new adventure.
This is His “forever.” When He said it, He meant it. He knows those who belong to Him, and He has been waiting patiently for His bride for thousands of years.
Have you said “yes” to Him?
Thursday, May 27, 2010
here's to you
My apologies to all of you who regularly read my blog for the Scripture musings–this one is going to veer from my usual trend just a little. I saw a post by one of my mentors today that warmed my heart. She said:
…this saddens me…Men are commanded by God to “agape” their wives, (a complete and excellent love, as represented by the Father’s love for His Son). I hear very little of this and do not see it as a primary focus among Christian men. So many, satisfied with career success and academic achievement will see those pursuits burn up as wood, hay and stubble as they stand before the judgement seat of Christ.
Before you wonder why her statement brought me joy, let me explain that I smiled because God has truly blessed me with a man who daily shows me how much Jesus loves us through his maturity and wisdom when it comes to loving people. This week marks an anniversary of sorts–five months to the night when Jesus supernaturally placed love for him in my heart and set me free to embark on the most peaceful, joy-filled, sweetest year I can remember having. If you’re interested on a more theological study of God’s love, you might find this post from the archives a more interesting read. However, if you’re interested in spying on an open letter to an exceptional, God-fearing man (who may take weeks to find this…which is part of the fun!) read on. =)
_________
Love is patient….like the way you wait for me to exhaust a seemingly limitless supply of adjectives to describe a situation about which you are already aware. Have I told you how much I appreciate the way you just sit there and listen until I am finished? It means so much that you never interrupt me, even when you are probably tired of hearing details about a situation that isn’t really that crucial to begin with. And how about those six months you kept coming back and offering me unconditional friendship when I kept trying to drive you away?
Love is kind….like how you look for little things to do that communicate support. Case in point, how I came home yesterday and found all the magnolia leaves raked up in my back yard, and that beautiful orchid waiting on my doorstep. Or the way you have made it your business to track down the absolute best bug-deterring chemical there is to save me from spiders. Even beyond your delightful eye for romance, you love through serving and it blesses me constantly.
Love doesn’t envy…like how you have become my number one cheerleader. I know that when you offer a suggestion, you truly have my best interests at heart. You are such an example of how Jesus is a foundation of support for us with your quiet strength in my life. You encourage (and sometimes push) me to write and to spend even more time in prayer, and rejoice at the small conquests.
Love doesn’t boast…like how you are constantly giving to people and leaving me to find out from someone else. It has almost become a game to find out what beautiful, generous thing you have done for someone each week.
Love isn’t proud…like how you constantly point to the Lord in all achievements and endeavors. You don’t try to laugh off what you do with false humility; you answer with a quiet “thank you” and then go on to enumerate how the Lord has blessed and helped you in the process. You find greater value in hand-made gifts with sentiment than in expensive gadgets. You work harder than most people I know, and sometimes go underappreciated for all that you do because you don’t demand recognition or credit for your acts of service.
Love isn’t rude…like how I never hear you yelling at other vehicles on the highway or blistering someone with scorn for perceived stupidity. Like how you always say I am beautiful, even on those “self-doubting” days (especially on those days, come to think of it). Like how you never chastise me for how I feel, even when we both know I am going to decide my thinking is wrong within twenty-four hours. Like how you challenge me with soft-spoken questions instead of harsh reprimands.
Love isn’t self-seeking…like how you are quick to pray for anyone, whether you know them or not, without demanding that they know your name. The other day, I mentioned to you about some friends of mine who had lost their jobs, and your immediate response was, “I’m praying for them.” You live to serve, and I respect you so much because of that.
Love isn’t easily angered…like how you listen and respond calmly when we disagree. You have never insulted me as a person, never indicated that I was an idiot for believing something, never called me selfish or insecure, even if and when I probably deserve it.
Love keeps no record of wrongs…like how I never worry that you are going to throw some mistake from the past back at me. Ever.
Love doesn’t delight in evil but rejoices with the truth…like how you are quick to recognize an enemy attack and use your spiritual authority as head of our relationship to pray over me. You have zero tolerance for Satan’s efforts at deception, and are quick to counter his lies with the Word.
Love always protects…like how you have arranged to have the locks on all my doors changed. Like how you came over that night my outside light was mysteriously on (and the night I discovered I had left the front door unlocked all weekend) and walked through all rooms and closets. Like how you went to WalMart and bought new windshield wipers for my car and installed them without me even knowing you were there because I told you about how one fell off while I was driving down the road. Like how you make me walk on the inside of the sidewalk, how you filter things you have heard and don’t tell me things that could hurt me, how you apply yourself to think of ways to carry hurts for me. You have demonstrated this one over and over again.
Love always trusts…like how you never question my relationships with other people and you never demand to read my emails or text messages. And because of that, I delight in opening my life to you. When I can’t tell you something because it was shared to me in confidence, you respect my commitment to keeping my mouth shut and don’t pressure me to know. What freedom you give me.
Love always hopes…and our relationship is golden with hopes and dreams. Every day is a brand new adventure. Every morning I wake up and wonder what the first thing you will say will be.
Love always perseveres… Even when I told you (on numerous occasions) “we” would never be, that I didn’t “feel that way” about you, that I didn’t even want to “feel that way,” you never gave up hope. You didn’t pressure me and you gave me space, but you were always there supporting, cheering, dreaming, loving, waiting.
So I say again to you what I said the first time you told me that you loved me (and I wasn’t ready to say it back yet)…
–“I know.”
…this saddens me…Men are commanded by God to “agape” their wives, (a complete and excellent love, as represented by the Father’s love for His Son). I hear very little of this and do not see it as a primary focus among Christian men. So many, satisfied with career success and academic achievement will see those pursuits burn up as wood, hay and stubble as they stand before the judgement seat of Christ.
Before you wonder why her statement brought me joy, let me explain that I smiled because God has truly blessed me with a man who daily shows me how much Jesus loves us through his maturity and wisdom when it comes to loving people. This week marks an anniversary of sorts–five months to the night when Jesus supernaturally placed love for him in my heart and set me free to embark on the most peaceful, joy-filled, sweetest year I can remember having. If you’re interested on a more theological study of God’s love, you might find this post from the archives a more interesting read. However, if you’re interested in spying on an open letter to an exceptional, God-fearing man (who may take weeks to find this…which is part of the fun!) read on. =)
_________
Love is patient….like the way you wait for me to exhaust a seemingly limitless supply of adjectives to describe a situation about which you are already aware. Have I told you how much I appreciate the way you just sit there and listen until I am finished? It means so much that you never interrupt me, even when you are probably tired of hearing details about a situation that isn’t really that crucial to begin with. And how about those six months you kept coming back and offering me unconditional friendship when I kept trying to drive you away?
Love is kind….like how you look for little things to do that communicate support. Case in point, how I came home yesterday and found all the magnolia leaves raked up in my back yard, and that beautiful orchid waiting on my doorstep. Or the way you have made it your business to track down the absolute best bug-deterring chemical there is to save me from spiders. Even beyond your delightful eye for romance, you love through serving and it blesses me constantly.
Love doesn’t envy…like how you have become my number one cheerleader. I know that when you offer a suggestion, you truly have my best interests at heart. You are such an example of how Jesus is a foundation of support for us with your quiet strength in my life. You encourage (and sometimes push) me to write and to spend even more time in prayer, and rejoice at the small conquests.
Love doesn’t boast…like how you are constantly giving to people and leaving me to find out from someone else. It has almost become a game to find out what beautiful, generous thing you have done for someone each week.
Love isn’t proud…like how you constantly point to the Lord in all achievements and endeavors. You don’t try to laugh off what you do with false humility; you answer with a quiet “thank you” and then go on to enumerate how the Lord has blessed and helped you in the process. You find greater value in hand-made gifts with sentiment than in expensive gadgets. You work harder than most people I know, and sometimes go underappreciated for all that you do because you don’t demand recognition or credit for your acts of service.
Love isn’t rude…like how I never hear you yelling at other vehicles on the highway or blistering someone with scorn for perceived stupidity. Like how you always say I am beautiful, even on those “self-doubting” days (especially on those days, come to think of it). Like how you never chastise me for how I feel, even when we both know I am going to decide my thinking is wrong within twenty-four hours. Like how you challenge me with soft-spoken questions instead of harsh reprimands.
Love isn’t self-seeking…like how you are quick to pray for anyone, whether you know them or not, without demanding that they know your name. The other day, I mentioned to you about some friends of mine who had lost their jobs, and your immediate response was, “I’m praying for them.” You live to serve, and I respect you so much because of that.
Love isn’t easily angered…like how you listen and respond calmly when we disagree. You have never insulted me as a person, never indicated that I was an idiot for believing something, never called me selfish or insecure, even if and when I probably deserve it.
Love keeps no record of wrongs…like how I never worry that you are going to throw some mistake from the past back at me. Ever.
Love doesn’t delight in evil but rejoices with the truth…like how you are quick to recognize an enemy attack and use your spiritual authority as head of our relationship to pray over me. You have zero tolerance for Satan’s efforts at deception, and are quick to counter his lies with the Word.
Love always protects…like how you have arranged to have the locks on all my doors changed. Like how you came over that night my outside light was mysteriously on (and the night I discovered I had left the front door unlocked all weekend) and walked through all rooms and closets. Like how you went to WalMart and bought new windshield wipers for my car and installed them without me even knowing you were there because I told you about how one fell off while I was driving down the road. Like how you make me walk on the inside of the sidewalk, how you filter things you have heard and don’t tell me things that could hurt me, how you apply yourself to think of ways to carry hurts for me. You have demonstrated this one over and over again.
Love always trusts…like how you never question my relationships with other people and you never demand to read my emails or text messages. And because of that, I delight in opening my life to you. When I can’t tell you something because it was shared to me in confidence, you respect my commitment to keeping my mouth shut and don’t pressure me to know. What freedom you give me.
Love always hopes…and our relationship is golden with hopes and dreams. Every day is a brand new adventure. Every morning I wake up and wonder what the first thing you will say will be.
Love always perseveres… Even when I told you (on numerous occasions) “we” would never be, that I didn’t “feel that way” about you, that I didn’t even want to “feel that way,” you never gave up hope. You didn’t pressure me and you gave me space, but you were always there supporting, cheering, dreaming, loving, waiting.
So I say again to you what I said the first time you told me that you loved me (and I wasn’t ready to say it back yet)…
–“I know.”
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
abominable reputation
Near the end of last week, I was listening to a sermon that referenced Luke 16:15. Jesus is talking to the people about the dishonest manager, who, through his shrewdness, canceled debts owed to his master and made friends with many people before he lost his job so that he would have someone to take him when he had nothing. He admonishes us to use our resources to live generously and make friends instead of constantly pouring all of our money into the latest gadget for ourselves.
The Pharisees did not appreciate His words, because they loved money; they mocked Jesus for suggesting that giving away was shrewder than hoarding away treasures in expectation of an economic crisis. It is at this point that Jesus turned to them and said (verse 15):
And He said to them, "You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God.
The word that arrested my attention in this verse was "abomination." Surely that was a little strong, wasn't it?
I went into the original Greek and discovered that this word was bdelygma, and is the same word to describe what Daniel called the "abomination of desolation" (Matthew 24:15, Mark 13:14). Furthermore, the word translates as "a foul and detestable thing," and more interestingly (to me, anyway), "of idols and things pertaining to idolatry."
Furthermore, the word that we translated "highly esteemed" is hypsēlos in the Greek; it means "exalted in honor" and refers to "to set the mind on, to seek, high things (as honours and riches), to be aspiring." So, Jesus said that that God sees the things we in our unregenerate state prize most highly on the same level as idolatry.
The Lord made this assertion in the context of man endeavoring to justify himself in the eyes of others. Although He specifically was referring to seeking financial honor, we often seek to justify ourselves in other ways. I've mentioned before that the hardest lesson for me is often keeping my mouth shut when someone has said something untrue or unkind about me. We also try to prove our "good person" status by seeking out opportunities to do works of charity for show, or even talking about a divine encounter with the Lord in a way that brings attention to ourselves. For example:
"Oh just let me tell you--God healed my foot this morning."
"Why, that's wonderful! Did I ever tell you He caused my leg to grow back three inches?"
"No, you didn't. But did you hear about the time He re-set the bones in my arm?"
...and so on. We seek to share in His glory, as if seeing the most miracles has anything to do with our own righteousness.
The devil tried to get Jesus to justify Himself in Matthew 4, saying again and again, "If you are the Son of God..." It's interesting that the last temptation he offered Jesus was on an exceedingly high mountain overlooking all the kingdoms of the world (Matthew 4:8). That word "high" is again hypsēlos to which we just referred as "highly esteemed." Satan took Jesus to a physical high place and offered to give Him a spiritual high place in exchange for His worship; Jesus, however, knew that to worship the devil in that place was bdelygma--abominable idolatry in the face of God.
The secret of being content in all circumstances (of which Paul speaks in Philippians 4:11) is two-fold; it involves being enthralled in the greatness of God on one hand, and losing all care for man's esteem on the other. The more I try to justify myself before other people (whether in arguing my position, gaining possessions, surrounding myself with "yes"-men rather than those who speak what I need to hear) the more offensive I smell to God; it shows that I care more about my reputation than I do about His glory.
Let's continue to make it all about Him.
Blessings!
The Pharisees did not appreciate His words, because they loved money; they mocked Jesus for suggesting that giving away was shrewder than hoarding away treasures in expectation of an economic crisis. It is at this point that Jesus turned to them and said (verse 15):
And He said to them, "You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God.
The word that arrested my attention in this verse was "abomination." Surely that was a little strong, wasn't it?
I went into the original Greek and discovered that this word was bdelygma, and is the same word to describe what Daniel called the "abomination of desolation" (Matthew 24:15, Mark 13:14). Furthermore, the word translates as "a foul and detestable thing," and more interestingly (to me, anyway), "of idols and things pertaining to idolatry."
Furthermore, the word that we translated "highly esteemed" is hypsēlos in the Greek; it means "exalted in honor" and refers to "to set the mind on, to seek, high things (as honours and riches), to be aspiring." So, Jesus said that that God sees the things we in our unregenerate state prize most highly on the same level as idolatry.
The Lord made this assertion in the context of man endeavoring to justify himself in the eyes of others. Although He specifically was referring to seeking financial honor, we often seek to justify ourselves in other ways. I've mentioned before that the hardest lesson for me is often keeping my mouth shut when someone has said something untrue or unkind about me. We also try to prove our "good person" status by seeking out opportunities to do works of charity for show, or even talking about a divine encounter with the Lord in a way that brings attention to ourselves. For example:
"Oh just let me tell you--God healed my foot this morning."
"Why, that's wonderful! Did I ever tell you He caused my leg to grow back three inches?"
"No, you didn't. But did you hear about the time He re-set the bones in my arm?"
...and so on. We seek to share in His glory, as if seeing the most miracles has anything to do with our own righteousness.
The devil tried to get Jesus to justify Himself in Matthew 4, saying again and again, "If you are the Son of God..." It's interesting that the last temptation he offered Jesus was on an exceedingly high mountain overlooking all the kingdoms of the world (Matthew 4:8). That word "high" is again hypsēlos to which we just referred as "highly esteemed." Satan took Jesus to a physical high place and offered to give Him a spiritual high place in exchange for His worship; Jesus, however, knew that to worship the devil in that place was bdelygma--abominable idolatry in the face of God.
The secret of being content in all circumstances (of which Paul speaks in Philippians 4:11) is two-fold; it involves being enthralled in the greatness of God on one hand, and losing all care for man's esteem on the other. The more I try to justify myself before other people (whether in arguing my position, gaining possessions, surrounding myself with "yes"-men rather than those who speak what I need to hear) the more offensive I smell to God; it shows that I care more about my reputation than I do about His glory.
Let's continue to make it all about Him.
Blessings!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
zoe
While reading in John 1 this morning, I felt the Lord quicken my heart over verse 4:
In particular, I felt the Holy Spirit settling over the words "life" and "light." Strong's concordance says life here (zoe) means, "of the absolute fullness of life; life real and genuine; a life active and vigorous, devoted to God, and blessed." This is a different kind of life than the one used in Mark 3:4--"psyche"--which refers more to the mortal life of all things, the process that distinguishes between an elephant and a boulder.In him was life, and that life was the light of men.
We can be alive without being alive. Anyone whose eyes have flitted open on a gray November morning and half-prayed to a corner of the ceiling, "God, I can't face another day" without expecting an answer knows this. It manifests in weak knees and thumping hearts when we've felt too heartsick to eat for a few days. It shows up when we avoid our friends for our televisions and fitfully daydream about inventing a switch hard-wired into our brains that would turn off all thoughts so we could force ourselves to sleep. It surfaces in a heavy, drugged feeling when we cannot seem to differentiate between dreams and reality.
Simply functioning from one day to another is not the life that is God. Jesus said in John 14:6 that He is the way, truth, and the life (zoe)--full, vigorous, beautiful life that transcends mere existence.
The word used for light (phos) in John 1:4 has many translations, but the one that I liked best was, "that which is exposed to the view of all, openly, publicly." The beauty of Jesus' life was for
all to see. He did not hide His freedom with the Father; nor did He share it with only a select group. The people who walked in darkness saw a great light.
In His kindness, God was not content for us to live a life bound to striving. He came that we might have zoe and have it fully. He came that we might have Himself. Today is the Jewish feast of Passover, and tomorrow marks the anniversary of Jesus' death (He died on Wednesday, was in the ground three days, and rose again on the first day of the week). Only God could bring life out of death and use sacrifice to bring fullness for all. The life He gave transcends momentary emotions. There will always be heartaches, seasons in the valley, flights into the desert; but
they are temporary. God glories in restoration, and when He comes to you, He brings with Him fullness of joy.
Father, I bless my friends to delight in Your fullness. You promised we would win if we did not lose heart. May we walk according to Hebrews 10:35-37 and Galatians 6:9, never giving up, never losing faith. May we have eyes opened to the "small" miracles that take place every day. May we never mistake the purpose of prayer as the right to tell You what to do. You are sovereign and Your ways are right. Give us the grace today to say, "not my will but Yours,"
hands that rush to give, mouths opened wide to sing Your praises, and hearts that embrace love and reject offense. In Jesus' beautiful name....
Thursday, March 25, 2010
the way of truth
Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth; Unite my heart to fear Your name. ~Psalm 86:11
What is Your way, God? What does it mean to walk in Your truth?
Truly, Your way has always been first to be and then to do. First, be holy (even as You are holy) and then do the things that mark a holy life. First, love You fiercely and proactively, and then take care of other people as an overflow of love. First experience freedom that is the reality of life with Christ, and then bring life wherever we go. Your ways are truth because You are the way, truth and the life. Jesus, we come to Your Father through the way You prepared, and we lay down our lives to prepare the way before You to touch the world.
In all of this, however, we are incapable of living lives that are singled in on You in ourselves. My heart is deceitful and it pulls and yearns for things that You know would only harm me. I do not do what I want to do, and I do what I do not want to do. Paul understood.
I'm asking You for grace again--grace to zero in and focus on Your beauty. I can only give You the reverence You deserve if You give me that singleness of purpose. I lay out all of my conflicting desires before You and proclaim the sovereignty of Jesus over them. Let me love You even more than I have until this point. I've only broken the surface of a vast ocean, and Your depths are calling out to me.
Friday, March 12, 2010
modern-day psalm
Your Spirit hovers over the sea of humanity, eyes probing hearts and searching spirits. Do You see me? I'm waving frantically with the banner of love that You gave me. I want to draw Your eyes, even when they burn me alive.
Noah released a dove from the ark and it returned to him because there was no place for it to rest. You sent for the dove of Your Spirit and it settled on Your Son. I want to be Your resting place.
I don't want to be the one You love simply because that's Your nature; I want to be the one You know, who establishes relationship, who walks in intimacy. Heaven is Your throne, the earth is Your footstool--but Your habitation is in me.
Day by day, hour by hour, You lead me through the valley, up the mountain and back down again. Your rod and Your staff are the marks of Your authority--the scepter of the Shepherd. The rod of iron with which You judge the nations of the earth brings me joy and comfort.
Your discipline has made me glad. I am Somebody's daughter. Mercy and goodness are chasing me down. Your gentle love crowns my head, the brilliant diadem of Your family crest. Your humility has exalted me even as my life is forfeit, laid down before You.
My King is my Father. My Judge is my Shepherd. My sacrificial Lamb is the prevailing Lion. His Word is my bread, my life, my light, and my salvation. He is the Door, the Bread that came from Heaven, the Way where there is no other way, the Son of God, the One who was dead and is alive again forever.
May my soul sing out in the night in my sleep. May my mind realize that every breath not spent in praise is wasted. May my heart never swerve from its allegiance to one purpose. May my mouth choose gratitude over complaint. May my eyes keep covenant with my morals; my feet rush to promote peace; my hands remain open to give to those in need; my face turn always toward the Son; my ears ignore gossip that is none of my business; my nose delight in the fragrance of I AM; and may the stamp of the Most High mark my life.
May I be found loving with heart, soul, mind, and strength, even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.
I have delighted in the goodness of the Lord. I have seen the provision of His hand. His love will overcome every distraction--every broken place in the darkness of my flesh. Crucified with Christ, buried in baptism, and now alive to know Him in the power of His resurrection.
Oh what a delight to live in the shadow of His wings.
Noah released a dove from the ark and it returned to him because there was no place for it to rest. You sent for the dove of Your Spirit and it settled on Your Son. I want to be Your resting place.
I don't want to be the one You love simply because that's Your nature; I want to be the one You know, who establishes relationship, who walks in intimacy. Heaven is Your throne, the earth is Your footstool--but Your habitation is in me.
Day by day, hour by hour, You lead me through the valley, up the mountain and back down again. Your rod and Your staff are the marks of Your authority--the scepter of the Shepherd. The rod of iron with which You judge the nations of the earth brings me joy and comfort.
Your discipline has made me glad. I am Somebody's daughter. Mercy and goodness are chasing me down. Your gentle love crowns my head, the brilliant diadem of Your family crest. Your humility has exalted me even as my life is forfeit, laid down before You.
My King is my Father. My Judge is my Shepherd. My sacrificial Lamb is the prevailing Lion. His Word is my bread, my life, my light, and my salvation. He is the Door, the Bread that came from Heaven, the Way where there is no other way, the Son of God, the One who was dead and is alive again forever.
May my soul sing out in the night in my sleep. May my mind realize that every breath not spent in praise is wasted. May my heart never swerve from its allegiance to one purpose. May my mouth choose gratitude over complaint. May my eyes keep covenant with my morals; my feet rush to promote peace; my hands remain open to give to those in need; my face turn always toward the Son; my ears ignore gossip that is none of my business; my nose delight in the fragrance of I AM; and may the stamp of the Most High mark my life.
May I be found loving with heart, soul, mind, and strength, even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.
I have delighted in the goodness of the Lord. I have seen the provision of His hand. His love will overcome every distraction--every broken place in the darkness of my flesh. Crucified with Christ, buried in baptism, and now alive to know Him in the power of His resurrection.
Oh what a delight to live in the shadow of His wings.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
to the streets, i say!
Ah, February 14. It stirs up so many emotions... A few years ago when I was a first-year undergraduate, I "observed" by wearing a black shirt to classes. A year or two later, I'd progressed to wearing all black. I turned my computer settings to all black and gray (down to my instant messenger away message). My sister-in-law and brother teamed up to give me an anti-Valentine's day gift--my candy and squishy black pillow nestled safely inside a wedding gift bag from Target that spelled out "I Do" in rhinestones. My quick-witted sister-in-law grabbed a black pen and scribbled "n't" at the end so that my gift bag proudly read, "I Don't!"
Shortly after, I decided that it was better to protest the holiday by ignoring altogether. To prove I was ignoring it, I made sure to wear some random non-boycott but non-Valentine color....orange? Sure! That works! Valentine's Day? Today? Oh, I hadn't noticed...
Let me hasten to say that none of this stemmed from any latent morbidity or dark fascination. It was just fun to go against tradition and roll my eyes at the "schmaltzy, couples-geared, over-commercialized Hallmark holiday."
The past couple of years have been a little different, though. I've encountered a depth in the love of God that I thought I understood--the love I would have told you at the time that I knew I had. In ten years I will probably look back on myself and say the same thing about now. But I learned some things about love that have changed my paradigm a little:
1. God is love, therefore He alone gets to define love. Anyone who tells you that love is less than "arms wide open, heart exposed, bleeding" is peddling a counterfeit version of what love is all about.
2. God's nature is to pursue. There's a whole argument about whether the girl or the guy should have to make the first move (or most of the first moves) in a romantic relationship; without going into that, let me just say that love (God) pursues....and pursues....and pursues...over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. Love chases with a bruised and punched face, mocking spit running down its cheeks, blood springing from a broken heart staining its clothes.
3. God gives things just because He loves to give, not because we deserve it and not because it looks or feels good. He doesn't wait for there to be any joy in the idea of loving us. He loves because He can't not love. Love personified is chasing you down.
4. The greatest human expression of love is encountering the scent of God in the secret place and running it to the streets.
And that's my point. We live in a love-starved world of people desperate to hear that they matter to someone. As believers, we epitomize a colossal selfishness when we don't talk about love on Valentine's Day, when we have the greatest love there is.
Don't get me wrong--I will probably always be "that girl" who'd rather throw a random costume party for her single friends (or "non-observing" couple friends) on February 14th weekend. But I'm not making the mistake of ignoring or protesting anymore. The kind of love that has touched me so deeply over the past couple of years is too precious to hoard.
May the love of God be with you all.
Shortly after, I decided that it was better to protest the holiday by ignoring altogether. To prove I was ignoring it, I made sure to wear some random non-boycott but non-Valentine color....orange? Sure! That works! Valentine's Day? Today? Oh, I hadn't noticed...
Let me hasten to say that none of this stemmed from any latent morbidity or dark fascination. It was just fun to go against tradition and roll my eyes at the "schmaltzy, couples-geared, over-commercialized Hallmark holiday."
The past couple of years have been a little different, though. I've encountered a depth in the love of God that I thought I understood--the love I would have told you at the time that I knew I had. In ten years I will probably look back on myself and say the same thing about now. But I learned some things about love that have changed my paradigm a little:
1. God is love, therefore He alone gets to define love. Anyone who tells you that love is less than "arms wide open, heart exposed, bleeding" is peddling a counterfeit version of what love is all about.
2. God's nature is to pursue. There's a whole argument about whether the girl or the guy should have to make the first move (or most of the first moves) in a romantic relationship; without going into that, let me just say that love (God) pursues....and pursues....and pursues...over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. Love chases with a bruised and punched face, mocking spit running down its cheeks, blood springing from a broken heart staining its clothes.
3. God gives things just because He loves to give, not because we deserve it and not because it looks or feels good. He doesn't wait for there to be any joy in the idea of loving us. He loves because He can't not love. Love personified is chasing you down.
4. The greatest human expression of love is encountering the scent of God in the secret place and running it to the streets.
And that's my point. We live in a love-starved world of people desperate to hear that they matter to someone. As believers, we epitomize a colossal selfishness when we don't talk about love on Valentine's Day, when we have the greatest love there is.
Don't get me wrong--I will probably always be "that girl" who'd rather throw a random costume party for her single friends (or "non-observing" couple friends) on February 14th weekend. But I'm not making the mistake of ignoring or protesting anymore. The kind of love that has touched me so deeply over the past couple of years is too precious to hoard.
May the love of God be with you all.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
God's song
I heard God singing to me in our house of prayer set tonight:
____________________
"How long? How long?
I long! I long for you!"
Hear the cry of the bridegroom God:
"How long? How long?
I long! I long for you!"
He's calling me higher still.
He's calling me deeper still.
Further up and further in.
He's making a way for me
To taste the feast of love.
But how many times I've turned away;
Denied the very tears of God.
"How long? How long?
I long! I long for you!"
Can you hear the cry of the bridegroom God?
"How long? How long?
I long! I long for you...."
____________________
"How long? How long?
I long! I long for you!"
Hear the cry of the bridegroom God:
"How long? How long?
I long! I long for you!"
He's calling me higher still.
He's calling me deeper still.
Further up and further in.
He's making a way for me
To taste the feast of love.
But how many times I've turned away;
Denied the very tears of God.
"How long? How long?
I long! I long for you!"
Can you hear the cry of the bridegroom God?
"How long? How long?
I long! I long for you...."
Monday, February 1, 2010
eyes that burn
“…his eyes were like blazing fire…” Revelation 1:14
I long to see Your eyes, oh God--eyes pierced with fire, Israel embedded at their core, intimately focused on a single humble worshipper. You, who are both beginning and ending, yet somehow wrapped up in my concerns down in the middle. The forever-flesh yet fully-divine God. My friend.
You're so far above the plainness of our one-dimensional gaze. Your burn to the heart with a glance. Personal. Real. The only fire that brings life while it destroys. Spirit power taking precedence over my multitude of broken, useless words. Divine fire refining through years of hiding to get at the nugget of truth deep within the heart.
It is the very beauty of Your holiness that sets the seraphim on fire. It is a testimony of Your patience that You have not reduced me to ashes. You sit in the center of the whirlwind. You’re a consuming fire, and I am what You want most in the world. Yet You know that the fullness of who You are would overwhelm me, so You hold back. The more You lead us into longing, the more of You we are able to receive.
Your gaze is on the meek and lowly one. You rivet on the one whose heart is postured to devour the Words that fall from Your mouth. For what do You seek other than one who will be Your friend? This fire in Your eyes is raw passion and untouchable holiness, deserving far greater reverence than our casual concept of grace.
Let it be my cry of desperation: oh, teach me what it means to tremble at Your word, so I may draw Your eyes.
I long to see Your eyes, oh God--eyes pierced with fire, Israel embedded at their core, intimately focused on a single humble worshipper. You, who are both beginning and ending, yet somehow wrapped up in my concerns down in the middle. The forever-flesh yet fully-divine God. My friend.
You're so far above the plainness of our one-dimensional gaze. Your burn to the heart with a glance. Personal. Real. The only fire that brings life while it destroys. Spirit power taking precedence over my multitude of broken, useless words. Divine fire refining through years of hiding to get at the nugget of truth deep within the heart.
It is the very beauty of Your holiness that sets the seraphim on fire. It is a testimony of Your patience that You have not reduced me to ashes. You sit in the center of the whirlwind. You’re a consuming fire, and I am what You want most in the world. Yet You know that the fullness of who You are would overwhelm me, so You hold back. The more You lead us into longing, the more of You we are able to receive.
Your gaze is on the meek and lowly one. You rivet on the one whose heart is postured to devour the Words that fall from Your mouth. For what do You seek other than one who will be Your friend? This fire in Your eyes is raw passion and untouchable holiness, deserving far greater reverence than our casual concept of grace.
Let it be my cry of desperation: oh, teach me what it means to tremble at Your word, so I may draw Your eyes.
Monday, January 4, 2010
hard task-master or jealous lover?
http://chrystalf.wordpress.com/2010/01/04/master-or-lover/
So I attended the Onething09 conference in Kansas City, Missouri on December 28-31. God encountered my heart in so many ways that I'm still trying to process it all. However, one teaching in particular has been turning over in my spirit since my return home. On Thursday, Allen Hood (prompted by the Holy Spirit) stood at the end of the morning session to give a brief teaching on Isaiah 6--ten minutes that radically shifted my paradigm of God. What follows is partly what he said and partly what I've discovered from researching what he said....but it's all gone together so I'm not going to try to distinguish between his words and mine.
In the year Uzziah died, Isaiah had a revelation of the Lord. Leviticus 16:2, 12-14 tell us that in that in the days Isaiah lived, the priest could not come into the glory of the Lord without a cloud of incense between himself and the glory, or he would die. This incense had to be of a certain scent/aroma and had to be lit by a coal from the altar outside of the most holy place in order for God to receive it.
When Isaiah received his revelation of the Lord, he was protected even though he was not the high priest because the Lord allowed smoke to fill His temple (Is. 6:4) shielding Isaiah from the glory. When Isaiah lamented his unclean lips in response, the angel went and took a burning coal from the altar and touched Isaiah's lips. Instantly Isaiah became a living censer to stand between the people and the glory and offer the fragrant incense of prayer and faithful prophetic utterance so the glory of the Lord would not totally destroy the people.
Habbakuk tells us that the earth will one day be filled with the knowledge of the glory of God. Isaiah 6:3 says the angels cried to each other that the earth is filled with God's glory. At the end of the Millennium, the holy city is going to come down to the earth for God will dwell with men, and the Lamb will be the light for there will no longer be sun, moon or stars. The Father is stirring the hearts of the intercessors worldwide to begin blanketing the earth with the sweet incense of prayer before Him because His glory is coming. The truest sign that we have entered the last days is that there are hundreds and thousands of people in the earth who have taken up the mantle of full-time intercessors restoring the worship movement outlined by the tabernacle of David (which Nehemiah and Hezekiah also restored before revival broke out in their time); God is coming to the earth and He is stirring the hearts of His people to begin making it ready for Him.
I found myself weeping Saturday night over how much I've misjudged God. I want to reread the Old Testament with a new perspective. God cannot change who He is--and Psalms tell us that He is the King of Glory. His perceived "strike them dead" anger in the Old Testament was, in reality, His passionate desire to be with them. How hard that must have been on Him to be so enraptured by a people that He longed to go and dwell in their midst, and yet could not without the impossible standard of the law in place to protect them from the fullness of who He is.
Even now, we cannot move into intimacy with Him without the protective shield of the blood and the fragrant offering of prayer. What a testimony of His kindness that the way is easier for us now than it was then. The standards of Leviticus were not God being a hard task-master. Through the law He was simply saying: "This is what it takes to get into My presence and survive....please do this because I long to be with you and I know that My coming to you on your terms will kill you."
I've also thought about how God said that any man who made incense of the same fragrance of that used before Him for his own pleasure must be cut off from the people (Ex. 30:38). This was not a "strike them dead" kind of sin, but yet was serious enough that the man should be alienated from everyone else.
God has a scent. While the incense that was offered up to Him from the tabernacle was pleasing for Him, He also wanted this scent reminded the people of nothing but Him. If another man made it to burn for his own pleasure, the smell of that would invade the tents around him, too, causing others to associate the aroma with man and not God. The strength of His love said, "I want to evoke desire in you for Me alone with this fragrance. I want the pleasing smell of this incense to remind you of My goodness to you and your children. Don't cheapen it. It's special between us."
I wonder what else in our lives that we've considered to be God's cruelty are actually expressions of His longing for us. Thoughts?
So I attended the Onething09 conference in Kansas City, Missouri on December 28-31. God encountered my heart in so many ways that I'm still trying to process it all. However, one teaching in particular has been turning over in my spirit since my return home. On Thursday, Allen Hood (prompted by the Holy Spirit) stood at the end of the morning session to give a brief teaching on Isaiah 6--ten minutes that radically shifted my paradigm of God. What follows is partly what he said and partly what I've discovered from researching what he said....but it's all gone together so I'm not going to try to distinguish between his words and mine.
In the year Uzziah died, Isaiah had a revelation of the Lord. Leviticus 16:2, 12-14 tell us that in that in the days Isaiah lived, the priest could not come into the glory of the Lord without a cloud of incense between himself and the glory, or he would die. This incense had to be of a certain scent/aroma and had to be lit by a coal from the altar outside of the most holy place in order for God to receive it.
When Isaiah received his revelation of the Lord, he was protected even though he was not the high priest because the Lord allowed smoke to fill His temple (Is. 6:4) shielding Isaiah from the glory. When Isaiah lamented his unclean lips in response, the angel went and took a burning coal from the altar and touched Isaiah's lips. Instantly Isaiah became a living censer to stand between the people and the glory and offer the fragrant incense of prayer and faithful prophetic utterance so the glory of the Lord would not totally destroy the people.
Habbakuk tells us that the earth will one day be filled with the knowledge of the glory of God. Isaiah 6:3 says the angels cried to each other that the earth is filled with God's glory. At the end of the Millennium, the holy city is going to come down to the earth for God will dwell with men, and the Lamb will be the light for there will no longer be sun, moon or stars. The Father is stirring the hearts of the intercessors worldwide to begin blanketing the earth with the sweet incense of prayer before Him because His glory is coming. The truest sign that we have entered the last days is that there are hundreds and thousands of people in the earth who have taken up the mantle of full-time intercessors restoring the worship movement outlined by the tabernacle of David (which Nehemiah and Hezekiah also restored before revival broke out in their time); God is coming to the earth and He is stirring the hearts of His people to begin making it ready for Him.
I found myself weeping Saturday night over how much I've misjudged God. I want to reread the Old Testament with a new perspective. God cannot change who He is--and Psalms tell us that He is the King of Glory. His perceived "strike them dead" anger in the Old Testament was, in reality, His passionate desire to be with them. How hard that must have been on Him to be so enraptured by a people that He longed to go and dwell in their midst, and yet could not without the impossible standard of the law in place to protect them from the fullness of who He is.
Even now, we cannot move into intimacy with Him without the protective shield of the blood and the fragrant offering of prayer. What a testimony of His kindness that the way is easier for us now than it was then. The standards of Leviticus were not God being a hard task-master. Through the law He was simply saying: "This is what it takes to get into My presence and survive....please do this because I long to be with you and I know that My coming to you on your terms will kill you."
I've also thought about how God said that any man who made incense of the same fragrance of that used before Him for his own pleasure must be cut off from the people (Ex. 30:38). This was not a "strike them dead" kind of sin, but yet was serious enough that the man should be alienated from everyone else.
God has a scent. While the incense that was offered up to Him from the tabernacle was pleasing for Him, He also wanted this scent reminded the people of nothing but Him. If another man made it to burn for his own pleasure, the smell of that would invade the tents around him, too, causing others to associate the aroma with man and not God. The strength of His love said, "I want to evoke desire in you for Me alone with this fragrance. I want the pleasing smell of this incense to remind you of My goodness to you and your children. Don't cheapen it. It's special between us."
I wonder what else in our lives that we've considered to be God's cruelty are actually expressions of His longing for us. Thoughts?
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
musings (part 2)
Before God can vindicate us, He must first scrutinize us. 1 Corinthians 4:4
Wisdom is simply defined as viewing the world through God’s perspective.
He loves dancing with me....even when I step on His feet.
Jesus’ first action on this earth was to completely trash Mary and Joseph’s reputations. Being Spirit-led is more important than man’s opinion.
“When you’re a child of the King, your relationships are an affair of state. you no longer have the right to just do what feels good. choose your friends accordingly.” (adapted from Stephanie. Her words below)
From rags to a wedding dress–this is the great exchange. My sin nature for His glory; my ashes for His beauty. I just have to say ‘yes!’
I will never fully experience God’s love directed towards me until I can first grasp how much I needed His cross.
It is when we reject the comfortable, turn our backs on all we’ve known, burn bridges, and cut ties that we enthrall the heart of God. Psalm 45:11
To walk with an ear open to the Holy Spirit is to live in that tension between people screaming, “don’t judge me” and Ezekiel 33:6. We cannot be so focused on not offending people that we fail to draw attention to sin; and we cannot be so wrapped up in addressing the sin that we begin to judge the person.
Wisdom is simply defined as viewing the world through God’s perspective.
He loves dancing with me....even when I step on His feet.
Jesus’ first action on this earth was to completely trash Mary and Joseph’s reputations. Being Spirit-led is more important than man’s opinion.
“When you’re a child of the King, your relationships are an affair of state. you no longer have the right to just do what feels good. choose your friends accordingly.” (adapted from Stephanie. Her words below)
“You are a king’s daughter and your marriage is an affair of state. You can’t go shacking up with just anybody. Your affections, while significant are not the bottom line. The bottom line is the kingdom. Hear me out. A world lies in misery and poised on the brink of hell. You are of royal blood. You have duties of state that are incompatible with marriage for the sake of your own feelings alone. Your marriage must strengthen the kingdom and make those alliances which will guarantee the lasting peace, the salvation of souls, the triumph of mercy. You must trust the King your Father to arrange matters according to his plan and purpose which is to maximize your joy and his glory through you. He loves you. Love Him back. No more sheets. Get married God’s way or don’t get married at all.”Love that does not shine under pressure is worthless when all is peaceful.
From rags to a wedding dress–this is the great exchange. My sin nature for His glory; my ashes for His beauty. I just have to say ‘yes!’
I will never fully experience God’s love directed towards me until I can first grasp how much I needed His cross.
It is when we reject the comfortable, turn our backs on all we’ve known, burn bridges, and cut ties that we enthrall the heart of God. Psalm 45:11
To walk with an ear open to the Holy Spirit is to live in that tension between people screaming, “don’t judge me” and Ezekiel 33:6. We cannot be so focused on not offending people that we fail to draw attention to sin; and we cannot be so wrapped up in addressing the sin that we begin to judge the person.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
love is a [...] thing
"God, I'm so tired of hurting. Love isn't supposed to be this difficult. I can't do this anymore."
The prayer had become second-nature. The teenage broken heart has no comfortable middle-ground between extremes. Almost ten years later, and after having nursed some adult-sized broken hearts, I've found my perspective changing on love.
Love is a bloody, smelly, wrenching thing. It demands the voluntary butchering of our most basic instinct of self-preservation. Love is a matter of weighing the options, recognizing the cost, and choosing to walk the road in humility anyway. It places no requirements on the recipient, making no demands, and shunning recognition for its sacrifice. It does not seek a name for itself. It just meekly and quietly is.
Jesus was the divine nature of God in human form, and He spoke passionately about love. His sacrifice on the cross encompassed all extremes from the height of suffering to the depth of humiliation, and all to personify the love His life had already defined. Love does not show its fullness of beauty in hazy, starry-eyed obsession. Instead, it shines in dust drinking slick drops of blood from a man writhing in agony for people who had rejected Him. Love looks like raised, red welts opening to jagged gashes on an innocent back; like deep purple bruises and bloodshot eyes. Love is a man utterly emptied of self even as His body clamored for attention. It is a man who sees the greatness of His sacrifice misunderstood and mocked even to this day, and still chooses to say, "You're worth My mercy." And it echoes in the voice of the Father as He grieves over the terror coming to a world unwilling to listen:
Your ways and your doings have procured these things for you. This is your wickedness, because it is bitter, because it reaches to your heart. O my soul, my soul! I am pained in my very heart! My heart makes a noise in me; I cannot hold my peace, because you have heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war. Jer. 4:18-19
The prayer had become second-nature. The teenage broken heart has no comfortable middle-ground between extremes. Almost ten years later, and after having nursed some adult-sized broken hearts, I've found my perspective changing on love.
Love is a bloody, smelly, wrenching thing. It demands the voluntary butchering of our most basic instinct of self-preservation. Love is a matter of weighing the options, recognizing the cost, and choosing to walk the road in humility anyway. It places no requirements on the recipient, making no demands, and shunning recognition for its sacrifice. It does not seek a name for itself. It just meekly and quietly is.
Jesus was the divine nature of God in human form, and He spoke passionately about love. His sacrifice on the cross encompassed all extremes from the height of suffering to the depth of humiliation, and all to personify the love His life had already defined. Love does not show its fullness of beauty in hazy, starry-eyed obsession. Instead, it shines in dust drinking slick drops of blood from a man writhing in agony for people who had rejected Him. Love looks like raised, red welts opening to jagged gashes on an innocent back; like deep purple bruises and bloodshot eyes. Love is a man utterly emptied of self even as His body clamored for attention. It is a man who sees the greatness of His sacrifice misunderstood and mocked even to this day, and still chooses to say, "You're worth My mercy." And it echoes in the voice of the Father as He grieves over the terror coming to a world unwilling to listen:
Your ways and your doings have procured these things for you. This is your wickedness, because it is bitter, because it reaches to your heart. O my soul, my soul! I am pained in my very heart! My heart makes a noise in me; I cannot hold my peace, because you have heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war. Jer. 4:18-19
Friday, August 21, 2009
speak up already!
I'm reading in Leviticus at the moment, and one thing that struck me was early in chapter 5, which reads:
This is one of the instructions that God gave to Moses when the two of them met together before the Tent of Meeting just after Moses received the Ten Commandments for the second time. God, in His mercy, was setting up a way for His people to walk with Him, despite the weight of the curse on their lives.
What's interesting to me, though, is that this particular "offense" wasn't based on what someone said, but on what they did not say. God viewed silence as sternly as He did outright deception.
Kinda like witnessing, huh? The terror's coming, and the blood is on the hands of the corporate church as a whole for our lethargic and dismissive attitude.
Thank the Lord for grace. He continues to give us opportunities to make up for the ones we squander because He is love at His core. Love by definition. Love in His entirety.
I've come away sobered and challenged again to speak, and pray that the Word would go forth with boldness. He will release His Word in power and authority through those who take the time to listen and snatch the opportunity to speak. My heart is so convicted yet again for the tendency I have to lose focus in the petty things (even when I think I'm not). Am I wrapped up in the "persecution" of that person who makes it a priority to disagree with me at any given opportunity, or am I meditating on Scripture, thanking the Lord for the lesson in humility, and moving forward in grace?
Don't miss a chance to speak up. May God grant unto you a spirit of boldness and power.
Much love.
If a person sins because he does not speak up when he hears a public charge to testify regarding something he has seen or learned about, he will be held responsible. (Lev. 5:1)
This is one of the instructions that God gave to Moses when the two of them met together before the Tent of Meeting just after Moses received the Ten Commandments for the second time. God, in His mercy, was setting up a way for His people to walk with Him, despite the weight of the curse on their lives.
What's interesting to me, though, is that this particular "offense" wasn't based on what someone said, but on what they did not say. God viewed silence as sternly as He did outright deception.
Kinda like witnessing, huh? The terror's coming, and the blood is on the hands of the corporate church as a whole for our lethargic and dismissive attitude.
Thank the Lord for grace. He continues to give us opportunities to make up for the ones we squander because He is love at His core. Love by definition. Love in His entirety.
I've come away sobered and challenged again to speak, and pray that the Word would go forth with boldness. He will release His Word in power and authority through those who take the time to listen and snatch the opportunity to speak. My heart is so convicted yet again for the tendency I have to lose focus in the petty things (even when I think I'm not). Am I wrapped up in the "persecution" of that person who makes it a priority to disagree with me at any given opportunity, or am I meditating on Scripture, thanking the Lord for the lesson in humility, and moving forward in grace?
Don't miss a chance to speak up. May God grant unto you a spirit of boldness and power.
Much love.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
[untitled]
Spirit flame,
burn through my ashes
that i may offer passion.
my worship's on the altar
ready for refining
longing for life.
rain Your word.
water my garden
and i will scale the walls
with fruit to feed the nations,
open to the hungry,
calling for the shamed.
this is my sacrifice--
that which is holy,
that which is perfect and pleasing before You.
this is my offering--
my yearning devotion,
Yours.
burn through my ashes
that i may offer passion.
my worship's on the altar
ready for refining
longing for life.
rain Your word.
water my garden
and i will scale the walls
with fruit to feed the nations,
open to the hungry,
calling for the shamed.
this is my sacrifice--
that which is holy,
that which is perfect and pleasing before You.
this is my offering--
my yearning devotion,
Yours.
Friday, June 12, 2009
unanswered prayers
Last night was night four of Vacation Bible School. It was an emotional night for me for various reasons, but the defining moment of the night for me was the final 20-minute segment (called the "Firefly Finale"). The roughly two-dozen children gathered around their respective crew-leaders and visualized putting the all the wrong things they've ever done in a big black trash bag each crew had. The crew-leaders placed the bags at the foot of a large cross, and one of the teachers, dressed as Jesus, came and carried the bags away as "Amazing Love" played in the background. When Kelly gave the children an opportunity to ask Jesus in their hearts immediately after that, at least four little ones raised their hands wanting to pray the prayer of salvation. We all had a time of worship in the altar while the crew-leaders finished praying with those who'd asked for prayer.
What struck me, however, was what happened just before all of this. I had gotten up to teach the kids a new song that talks about how God renews our strength when we wait on Him. Kelly and the crew-leaders had gone to a room in the back to pray about upcoming altar call, so I took a few minutes to introduce the song to the children and make sure they understood the concept of waiting on God (giving the adults time to pray). The Bible points we've learned so far this week have been: "God is with us," "God is powerful," "God does what He says He'll do," and "God gives us life." I opened by asking if any of the kids had ever prayed for something before. Immediately all of them raised their hands.
I followed by asking if any had ever prayed a prayer and nothing happened, and again, all of them raised their hands. I asked why they thought that was, and I'll admit that I was expecting a collection of blank faces and shoulder shrugs. To my surprise, however, one of the little girls to my left lifted her hand and, without a pause, said, "Maybe it's not the right time for God to do it, yet."
My eyes swam with tears as I praised her for her answer and went on to explain that we can trust God to give us strength to wait for His timing. All this time, however, my heart was crying, "Oh Jesus, no wonder you loved little children. They just understand."
I over-complicate things so much. God didn't answer because there's sin in your life. Or because you aren't asking what He wants. Or because He doesn't love you as much as _____. Or.... I don't take into account the fact that I strive daily to keep my heart free from hidden sins or that His Word says He loves me.
There was such a confidence in what my little friend said last night, though. There was no pause to check herself--no sense of, "I'm not good enough for Him to answer my prayers." She knew Jesus loves her and would answer her when she prayed to Him. If He didn't answer, all it could possibly mean was that He was waiting for a better time. It didn't mean she was forgotten, neglected...ignored.
What a blessing these little ones have been to me this week. I can't wait to see what happens tonight!
What struck me, however, was what happened just before all of this. I had gotten up to teach the kids a new song that talks about how God renews our strength when we wait on Him. Kelly and the crew-leaders had gone to a room in the back to pray about upcoming altar call, so I took a few minutes to introduce the song to the children and make sure they understood the concept of waiting on God (giving the adults time to pray). The Bible points we've learned so far this week have been: "God is with us," "God is powerful," "God does what He says He'll do," and "God gives us life." I opened by asking if any of the kids had ever prayed for something before. Immediately all of them raised their hands.
I followed by asking if any had ever prayed a prayer and nothing happened, and again, all of them raised their hands. I asked why they thought that was, and I'll admit that I was expecting a collection of blank faces and shoulder shrugs. To my surprise, however, one of the little girls to my left lifted her hand and, without a pause, said, "Maybe it's not the right time for God to do it, yet."
My eyes swam with tears as I praised her for her answer and went on to explain that we can trust God to give us strength to wait for His timing. All this time, however, my heart was crying, "Oh Jesus, no wonder you loved little children. They just understand."
I over-complicate things so much. God didn't answer because there's sin in your life. Or because you aren't asking what He wants. Or because He doesn't love you as much as _____. Or.... I don't take into account the fact that I strive daily to keep my heart free from hidden sins or that His Word says He loves me.
There was such a confidence in what my little friend said last night, though. There was no pause to check herself--no sense of, "I'm not good enough for Him to answer my prayers." She knew Jesus loves her and would answer her when she prayed to Him. If He didn't answer, all it could possibly mean was that He was waiting for a better time. It didn't mean she was forgotten, neglected...ignored.
What a blessing these little ones have been to me this week. I can't wait to see what happens tonight!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
missing you...
Things have felt a little distant this week with the one my heart loves. I've been helping out with Vacation Bible School at the church every night, so we haven't exactly had the time together I'm used to. I know there's no condemnation there, even though it's entirely my fault, but part of me feels so lost.
He's been part of every thought, ever breath, every action. I throw out numerous 30-second prayers His direction all through the day. I listen to live worship from the IHOP prayer room almost constantly. I've spent large parts of every evening this week telling thirty children about His attributes, singing about how He's always with us...even memorizing small slices from His Word. Isn't it funny how sometimes it feels like the more we talk about Him, the more distant we feel from Him?
I guess it's like any other relationship--there's no substitute for quality time (especially when that's one of your primary love languages). It's difficult to sustain intimacy in marriage if both parties don't make it a point to stay connected. Telling everyone about your husband's amazing qualities is no substitute for snatching up the moment to stop and listen to his heart. Nothing better communicates how greatly you value a person than making a point to shut down all outside interferences and give your full attention.
So much of our communicating is non-verbal. In my quest to become a better woman, there's a whole list of things about which I'm trying to become more aware when I interact with other people. How consistent am I at ignoring cellphone interruptions in one-on-one conversations? How often do I multi-task? How often do I interrupt? How often do I respond to something the other person said with a noncommittal one-liner and then change the subject? All of these are pet peeves of mine in other people--and yet, each is a personality trait I possess.
What becomes painful to notice, however, is how often I behave this way toward Him--cutting short our time together, responding to interruptions, making it all about me when we talk. He's always so patient with me, giving me such grace when, in my frailty, I miss it yet again. The Holy Spirit always comes again to breathe fire on my heart once again and prod me forward in passion and in love. Sometimes I just wish it wasn't necessary. What would it be like to live in a constant state of zeal--to never go through those seasons where my heart is cold? I was laughing with some friends yesterday that I seem to hit a dry spell every Thursday, and it tends to last until mid-Saturday afternoon. Weariness? Perhaps. Unwanted? Entirely.
I've jumped around a lot in this one, and I'm not even sure I've said what I meant to say. Maybe what I should have done from the beginning is this:
...I miss You. I miss just sitting in silence with You in perfect camaraderie. I know You're reading this, because You've already written in my heart what to say. All my words come from You. All my seasons are in Your hands. Draw me away.
He's been part of every thought, ever breath, every action. I throw out numerous 30-second prayers His direction all through the day. I listen to live worship from the IHOP prayer room almost constantly. I've spent large parts of every evening this week telling thirty children about His attributes, singing about how He's always with us...even memorizing small slices from His Word. Isn't it funny how sometimes it feels like the more we talk about Him, the more distant we feel from Him?
I guess it's like any other relationship--there's no substitute for quality time (especially when that's one of your primary love languages). It's difficult to sustain intimacy in marriage if both parties don't make it a point to stay connected. Telling everyone about your husband's amazing qualities is no substitute for snatching up the moment to stop and listen to his heart. Nothing better communicates how greatly you value a person than making a point to shut down all outside interferences and give your full attention.
So much of our communicating is non-verbal. In my quest to become a better woman, there's a whole list of things about which I'm trying to become more aware when I interact with other people. How consistent am I at ignoring cellphone interruptions in one-on-one conversations? How often do I multi-task? How often do I interrupt? How often do I respond to something the other person said with a noncommittal one-liner and then change the subject? All of these are pet peeves of mine in other people--and yet, each is a personality trait I possess.
What becomes painful to notice, however, is how often I behave this way toward Him--cutting short our time together, responding to interruptions, making it all about me when we talk. He's always so patient with me, giving me such grace when, in my frailty, I miss it yet again. The Holy Spirit always comes again to breathe fire on my heart once again and prod me forward in passion and in love. Sometimes I just wish it wasn't necessary. What would it be like to live in a constant state of zeal--to never go through those seasons where my heart is cold? I was laughing with some friends yesterday that I seem to hit a dry spell every Thursday, and it tends to last until mid-Saturday afternoon. Weariness? Perhaps. Unwanted? Entirely.
I've jumped around a lot in this one, and I'm not even sure I've said what I meant to say. Maybe what I should have done from the beginning is this:
...I miss You. I miss just sitting in silence with You in perfect camaraderie. I know You're reading this, because You've already written in my heart what to say. All my words come from You. All my seasons are in Your hands. Draw me away.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
a tragedy
The following quote was in an email I received this morning from Bound4Life regarding the reprehensible murder of abortion doctor, George Tiller:
My heart aches for this man who died with the blood of babies on his hands, and for his wife who was in the choir and witnessed his death. Who knows but that his murder robbed him of an opportunity to repent? Life is life, whether it is a child in the womb or an adult about to draw his or her last breath, and resorting to violence in protest should never be an option for those who claim to be "pro-life."
Paul really captured the heart of it in the "love chapter" of I Corinthians 13 when he said, "And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, "it profits me nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:3) I found myself examining my heart and my motives this morning. How many choices do I make in a day? What do I choose to wear? Do I speak to the other person in the elevator? Do I cut off that teenager on his cellphone in rush hour traffic? How thorough am I in the tasks I receive at my job? Do I thank the cleaning lady who comes in every morning to keep the office bathroom fresh? Do I even see her? How often do I do things out of guilt or necessity, caught up in the drudgery of everyday life?
Paul's message was that every action is an opportunity, and every action that does not stem from love is an opportunity wasted. Sometimes we get caught up in the mindset that God only sees the extremes--donating half the church building fund, staying up until 3:00 in the morning to organize a food drive, speaking from a platform to millions of people; but God weighs the heart on the smaller decisions as well. Let's make them count.
"There is merely bad luck in not being loved; there is tragedy in not loving." ~Camus
My heart aches for this man who died with the blood of babies on his hands, and for his wife who was in the choir and witnessed his death. Who knows but that his murder robbed him of an opportunity to repent? Life is life, whether it is a child in the womb or an adult about to draw his or her last breath, and resorting to violence in protest should never be an option for those who claim to be "pro-life."
Paul really captured the heart of it in the "love chapter" of I Corinthians 13 when he said, "And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, "it profits me nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:3) I found myself examining my heart and my motives this morning. How many choices do I make in a day? What do I choose to wear? Do I speak to the other person in the elevator? Do I cut off that teenager on his cellphone in rush hour traffic? How thorough am I in the tasks I receive at my job? Do I thank the cleaning lady who comes in every morning to keep the office bathroom fresh? Do I even see her? How often do I do things out of guilt or necessity, caught up in the drudgery of everyday life?
Paul's message was that every action is an opportunity, and every action that does not stem from love is an opportunity wasted. Sometimes we get caught up in the mindset that God only sees the extremes--donating half the church building fund, staying up until 3:00 in the morning to organize a food drive, speaking from a platform to millions of people; but God weighs the heart on the smaller decisions as well. Let's make them count.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
'tis but a slip of a forked tongue
Today I'm thinking about a time when I discovered that someone was spreading her third-hand account of an event in my life to anybody who would listen. Hers were the most vicious category of rumors--the kind I couldn't just dismiss as a complete fabrication because they contained enough of the truth to stab through the heart. My emotions ranged from anger to pain at the injustice of the situation as I continued to learn of the depth, width and breadth of her gossip--which ranged from targeting random strangers to my closest friends.
I took some comfort from Romans 1, mentally chastising her as one filled with "every kind of wickedness" including gossip and slander. Faithless, heartless, ruthless...my angry heart ticked down the list with some glee. And with each "check" on my list, my own sense of self-worth grew.
And then, with reassuring predictability, the Holy Spirit turned the mirror of the Word on my own heart. "How many times have you carelessly spoken half-truths without searching out the whole story, Chrystal? When's the last time you envied something that wasn't yours? What was the last promise you failed to keep?"
I'll spare you the number of self-justifying, "but Lord" comments I made. The concept that He hates all sin equally still trips me up most of the time. The bottom line was simply that I had failed again at the charge He'd given me earlier to be quick to forgive and even quicker to judge myself. When James charged us to be swift to listen and slow to speak, he meant it.
I still struggle to love this person. I still often feel betrayed. But I'm challeged once again by the love the Lord has for us. It's an ongoing process, but it's better to take the low road and use words to encourage, exhort, and edify than for me to be exalted in my own eyes. I pray the grace to be humble over you as well. God bless.
I took some comfort from Romans 1, mentally chastising her as one filled with "every kind of wickedness" including gossip and slander. Faithless, heartless, ruthless...my angry heart ticked down the list with some glee. And with each "check" on my list, my own sense of self-worth grew.
And then, with reassuring predictability, the Holy Spirit turned the mirror of the Word on my own heart. "How many times have you carelessly spoken half-truths without searching out the whole story, Chrystal? When's the last time you envied something that wasn't yours? What was the last promise you failed to keep?"
I'll spare you the number of self-justifying, "but Lord" comments I made. The concept that He hates all sin equally still trips me up most of the time. The bottom line was simply that I had failed again at the charge He'd given me earlier to be quick to forgive and even quicker to judge myself. When James charged us to be swift to listen and slow to speak, he meant it.
I still struggle to love this person. I still often feel betrayed. But I'm challeged once again by the love the Lord has for us. It's an ongoing process, but it's better to take the low road and use words to encourage, exhort, and edify than for me to be exalted in my own eyes. I pray the grace to be humble over you as well. God bless.
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