When He Says "Forever"

In the United States, statistics typically agree that one in two married couples will get a divorce. The percentage gets higher when we focus on those who have married for a second or third time. We embrace quick-fix, microwave solutions to problems that deserve greater attention–sexual intimacy on the second or third date, one-night-stands, broken promises. We are a culture indulging in reality television shows that promote men and women “hooking up” without acknowledging that sex creates a soul-tie; forever the two will be one in God’s eyes unless they repent and allow the delivering power of the Holy Spirit to create new life. The memories will always be there.

This is especially true in the church, where we swing on a pendulum between cheap grace and legalism. We either leap head-first into exciting our senses with the mindset of, “well, to the pure all things are pure” or we give each other a list of requirements tacked on to salvation that burden us more than what Jesus intended when He established a new covenant.

My point is not to make anyone feel bad; all of us have fallen short of the mark many times; I am simply trying to lay the foundation that most if not all of us have no real concept of “forever.” Instead, many of us exchange God’s version forever for Disney’s promise of a “happily-ever-after,” and wonder why life does not meet our expectations.

Without understanding that God’s “forever” is without reservation, without a pre-nup or safety escape clause, we cannot understand His heart in Psalm 4:3:

But know that the LORD has set apart for Himself him who is godly; the LORD will hear when I call to Him.

The phrase “set apart” here means “distinct, marked out, be separated, be distinguished” (Strongs H6395). God forever marks those who belong to Him. He knows them. They look different, not because of what they do in their own strength, but because He makes them look different.

Many of us have forgotten what it feels like to have someone jealously guard us (or, in turn, to guard jealously). While we do not want to hold others in a suffocating grip, sometimes our “open hand” is so open that we let our loved ones fall through the cracks.

This is not God’s way. He reserves us as a private garden belonging exclusively to Him. We are set apart, peculiar, reserved, guarded, distinguished, separated…His. Forever. We are pledged in marriage to a Lamb who will never back out on His covenant. He will always pursue, always guard, always love. He is never going to get tired of the chase, never going to give up, never going to get bored with us, never going to bewail the loss of “the mystery” that society screams women must keep alive to keep men interested. He’s never going to cheat on the relationship, and each new day will always be a new adventure.

This is His “forever.” When He said it, He meant it. He knows those who belong to Him, and He has been waiting patiently for His bride for thousands of years.

Have you said “yes” to Him?

musings (part 2)

Before God can vindicate us, He must first scrutinize us. 1 Corinthians 4:4

Wisdom is simply defined as viewing the world through God’s perspective.

He loves dancing with me....even when I step on His feet.

Jesus’ first action on this earth was to completely trash Mary and Joseph’s reputations. Being Spirit-led is more important than man’s opinion.

“When you’re a child of the King, your relationships are an affair of state. you no longer have the right to just do what feels good. choose your friends accordingly.” (adapted from Stephanie. Her words below)

“You are a king’s daughter and your marriage is an affair of state. You can’t go shacking up with just anybody. Your affections, while significant are not the bottom line. The bottom line is the kingdom. Hear me out. A world lies in misery and poised on the brink of hell. You are of royal blood. You have duties of state that are incompatible with marriage for the sake of your own feelings alone. Your marriage must strengthen the kingdom and make those alliances which will guarantee the lasting peace, the salvation of souls, the triumph of mercy. You must trust the King your Father to arrange matters according to his plan and purpose which is to maximize your joy and his glory through you. He loves you. Love Him back. No more sheets. Get married God’s way or don’t get married at all.”

Love that does not shine under pressure is worthless when all is peaceful.

From rags to a wedding dress–this is the great exchange. My sin nature for His glory; my ashes for His beauty. I just have to say ‘yes!’

I will never fully experience God’s love directed towards me until I can first grasp how much I needed His cross.

It is when we reject the comfortable, turn our backs on all we’ve known, burn bridges, and cut ties that we enthrall the heart of God. Psalm 45:11

To walk with an ear open to the Holy Spirit is to live in that tension between people screaming, “don’t judge me” and Ezekiel 33:6. We cannot be so focused on not offending people that we fail to draw attention to sin; and we cannot be so wrapped up in addressing the sin that we begin to judge the person.

missing you...

Things have felt a little distant this week with the one my heart loves. I've been helping out with Vacation Bible School at the church every night, so we haven't exactly had the time together I'm used to. I know there's no condemnation there, even though it's entirely my fault, but part of me feels so lost.

He's been part of every thought, ever breath, every action. I throw out numerous 30-second prayers His direction all through the day. I listen to live worship from the IHOP prayer room almost constantly. I've spent large parts of every evening this week telling thirty children about His attributes, singing about how He's always with us...even memorizing small slices from His Word. Isn't it funny how sometimes it feels like the more we talk about Him, the more distant we feel from Him?

I guess it's like any other relationship--there's no substitute for quality time (especially when that's one of your primary love languages). It's difficult to sustain intimacy in marriage if both parties don't make it a point to stay connected. Telling everyone about your husband's amazing qualities is no substitute for snatching up the moment to stop and listen to his heart. Nothing better communicates how greatly you value a person than making a point to shut down all outside interferences and give your full attention.

So much of our communicating is non-verbal. In my quest to become a better woman, there's a whole list of things about which I'm trying to become more aware when I interact with other people. How consistent am I at ignoring cellphone interruptions in one-on-one conversations? How often do I multi-task? How often do I interrupt? How often do I respond to something the other person said with a noncommittal one-liner and then change the subject? All of these are pet peeves of mine in other people--and yet, each is a personality trait I possess.

What becomes painful to notice, however, is how often I behave this way toward Him--cutting short our time together, responding to interruptions, making it all about me when we talk. He's always so patient with me, giving me such grace when, in my frailty, I miss it yet again. The Holy Spirit always comes again to breathe fire on my heart once again and prod me forward in passion and in love. Sometimes I just wish it wasn't necessary. What would it be like to live in a constant state of zeal--to never go through those seasons where my heart is cold? I was laughing with some friends yesterday that I seem to hit a dry spell every Thursday, and it tends to last until mid-Saturday afternoon. Weariness? Perhaps. Unwanted? Entirely.

I've jumped around a lot in this one, and I'm not even sure I've said what I meant to say. Maybe what I should have done from the beginning is this:

...I miss You. I miss just sitting in silence with You in perfect camaraderie. I know You're reading this, because You've already written in my heart what to say. All my words come from You. All my seasons are in Your hands. Draw me away.

my companion, my heart

A few weeks ago, Pastor said something in his sermon that has really stayed with me. He was talking about the marriage of Jacob to both Leah and Rachel in the Old Testament, and how Jacob loved Rachel more, even after seven years of marriage to Leah, because Rachel was his heart. Pastor then admonished all singles in the church to make sure that their future spouse was their heart and not just their companion.

My heart went out to the poignancy of Leah's plight, bound for the rest of her life to a man who would always love her sister more, the apparent quintessential Proverbs 30:23 woman; and then I began to think about Leah herself. Unfortunately, instead of focusing on capturing her husband's heart, Leah turned her attention to the heated rivalry with her sister and fractured their relationship.

While we know that Rachel was Jacob's heart, we have to wonder if Jacob was really Leah's heart, or if she was more interested in social status and attention. While we cannot know Leah's motives and desires, we can learn from her marriage to Jacob. How often do we allow the same thing to happen in our relationship with God? We seek the benefits of companionship with Him, often without making Him our ultimate desire. Often, when we see our brothers or sisters walking in enraptured love of Him, we grow jealous of the anointing, attack their zeal and judge their motives rather than emulate their lifestyles.

At our House of Prayer meeting on Saturday, we discussed how part of the curse on woman in Genesis 3:16 was a raging thirst for love that no broken and imperfect man can fully satisfy. Leah's story is an example of how this quest can become twisted and is fruitless. I believe that the curse can be a mixed blessing. History shows us that God allows those He considers His friends to experience His emotions. Abraham better identified with God's sorrow at sacrificing His son when he laid Isaac on the altar. Hosea experienced God's pain at a constantly unfaithful people when he married a prostitute. David felt God's heartbreak at having evil repaid for good when he spared Saul's life, only to have Saul chase him in the desert again and again.

In women, God has planted an inherent ability to understand the unspeakable longing He has to be loved. He is the master pursuer, but He longs for a people who will pursue Him with equal passion and abandon. The paradox of mature, agape love is that it expands, and the more you love, the more you realize how much more there is to love. The Psalmist asked, "what is man that Your are mindful of him?" I would ask, "What am I, that Your heart's cry is to be my heart?"