The Lion: "I wish I were..."

“I wish I were braver,” says Lucy Pevensie in the 2008 cinematic portrayal of C.S. Lewis’s “Prince Caspian.”

Aslan replies, “If you were any braver, you’d be a lioness,” and a smile dawns across her face.

When we next see Lucy, she’s walking alone to face the iron-clad Telmarine army on a bridge they constructed to cross the river. She approaches one side of the bridge, and the army stops abruptly on the other, stunned to see this little girl standing to block their way. With a small smile, Lucy draws a tiny dagger and half-heartedly waves it at them. Then we see Aslan pace with deliberate steps to walk behind her, and we realize the power behind her.
It was at this point that I burst into tears the last time I watched this movie. Like many of you, I feel like Lucy tottering on the edge of a river, thrusting my tiny dagger towards an army waving enormous swords.

I wish I were braver. I wish I were stronger. I wish I were more grateful; quicker to forgive; less selfish. I wish I were.

I wish I trusted more and tried to control less. I wish I had more faith. I wish I learned from experience and didn’t panic at the little stuff. I wish I had more patience.

I wish I had more to give. I wish I prioritized and time-managed better.

I wish I remembered to pray in the Spirit more. I wish I didn’t have to fight daily not to care about what people think of me. I wish witnessed more. I wish I judged less.

I….I….I…

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling
down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled. [2 Cor. 10:4-6, my emphasis added]

It’s not about the strength of the sword in your hand–it’s about the Lion of Judah standing behind you.

musings (part 2)

Before God can vindicate us, He must first scrutinize us. 1 Corinthians 4:4

Wisdom is simply defined as viewing the world through God’s perspective.

He loves dancing with me....even when I step on His feet.

Jesus’ first action on this earth was to completely trash Mary and Joseph’s reputations. Being Spirit-led is more important than man’s opinion.

“When you’re a child of the King, your relationships are an affair of state. you no longer have the right to just do what feels good. choose your friends accordingly.” (adapted from Stephanie. Her words below)

“You are a king’s daughter and your marriage is an affair of state. You can’t go shacking up with just anybody. Your affections, while significant are not the bottom line. The bottom line is the kingdom. Hear me out. A world lies in misery and poised on the brink of hell. You are of royal blood. You have duties of state that are incompatible with marriage for the sake of your own feelings alone. Your marriage must strengthen the kingdom and make those alliances which will guarantee the lasting peace, the salvation of souls, the triumph of mercy. You must trust the King your Father to arrange matters according to his plan and purpose which is to maximize your joy and his glory through you. He loves you. Love Him back. No more sheets. Get married God’s way or don’t get married at all.”

Love that does not shine under pressure is worthless when all is peaceful.

From rags to a wedding dress–this is the great exchange. My sin nature for His glory; my ashes for His beauty. I just have to say ‘yes!’

I will never fully experience God’s love directed towards me until I can first grasp how much I needed His cross.

It is when we reject the comfortable, turn our backs on all we’ve known, burn bridges, and cut ties that we enthrall the heart of God. Psalm 45:11

To walk with an ear open to the Holy Spirit is to live in that tension between people screaming, “don’t judge me” and Ezekiel 33:6. We cannot be so focused on not offending people that we fail to draw attention to sin; and we cannot be so wrapped up in addressing the sin that we begin to judge the person.

declaration

In order for faith to mature it needs situations where faith alone can sustain us. For this reason, God will allow us to go through times when we must trust Him in spite of how things appear. In those times, against the glaring face of a negative reality, true faith arises, appropriates courage and locks into the integrity of God’s promise. We must let faith arise in the context of resistance. This is the faith that touches God’s heart. — Francis Frangipane

God, do I touch You with my faith? Do I move Your emotions in my complete reliance on You? Do I ravish Your heart by saying again and again, “Lord, where could I go. You alone have the words of life?”

I can’t stand alone. It’s only in Your strength that I’m able to make it from one day to the next. It’s only Your love that sustains me in loving You. I’m confused and conflicted, twisted in knots, and easily distracted even on my best days. It’s only by Your grace that I’m able to face the next day in the faith that You do all things well. You don’t withhold good things from Your children. You don’t inflict needless suffering. Your heart has been moved with compassion again and again for the plight of Your children.

You don’t author confusion. You don’t create chaos. You call the imperfect and broken, beautiful. Though nothing is hidden from Your eyes, You choose to speak to my potential rather than my failures.

How can You prune with such tenderness? How is it that You know just the right mixture of joy and pain required to bear fruit in our lives? Do I wound You when I don’t trust—when I fall into double-mindedness, having forgotten Your goodness in the blindness of my circumstances?

In this I am confident: You are always, always, always, always, always good, and I will see Your goodness in the land of the living, for it follows me all the days of my life.

how much do you want?

"Love is a most costly commodity. The more you are willing to pay, the more valuable the prize. The question is, are you willing to pay the price?" ~Johnny Lingo, "The Legend of Johnny Lingo." Dir. Steven Ramirez. Video. Turtles Crossing, LLC 2003

I awakened this morning with the question, "how much do you want?" spinning over in my mind. The story written by Patricia McGerr of Johnny Lingo and his 8-cow wife is one of my favorite legends (you can read a condensed version of it here. The 2003 movie adaptation strays from the original story in some areas, but the underlying theme is the same in both.

My thoughts this morning, however, were not from a standpoint of making sacrifices for love, but making sacrifices for the anointing (which, when you come down to it, ultimately is about love, but not in the romantic sense presented in the Johnny Lingo story). It is an often overwhelming paradox that the more I learn about God and the more time I spend with Him, the more I feel like I don't spend enough time with Him. Could this be a religious spirit pushing me to faith through works instead of salvation through grace? Possibly. But more likely it is simply that I just can't get enough of Him--and since Scripture shows that He can't get enough of me either, it looks like that's a good thing.

So why the question?

God requires different things from different people according to their callings and the ministry to which He's called them. Some are called to lives of fasting and prayer like Anna in Luke 2. Some are called to leave home and family to serve on a mission field. Some may have to sacrifice the good opinions of those around them. For some, it's giving up television and/or secular music. For some, it's offering their lives in the sacrifice of martyrdom.

The bottom line is that He's looking for obedience on the most basic level in our lives. There is great power that comes with the anointing of the Holy Spirit, but it only comes at a great price. As He sees we are willing to do whatever it takes to be like Him, He is able to trust us with more. Anna was one of the first mouthpieces of the Gospel, a recognized prophetess, and favored with one of the earliest-recorded encounters with Jesus, but it came at a price--84 years as a widow compared to 7 years of marriage in a culture where the worth of women depended so heavily on fathers, brothers, husbands, and sons, and a lifestyle of constant fasting and prayer.

If I could rewrite the quote above, I would change it to say "the anointing is a most costly commodity." God has purposes and callings for each of us, and more than anything He desires relationship with us. The more we respond to Him and the more we desire Him, the more of Himself He gives to us. The "responding" process, however, is where we face the crossroads. What price are you willing to pay?